Can I keep It?
by Vixen63
Summary: Deleterious effects of reading the wrong kind of fiction.


**Can I keep It, Part One**

* * *

Toddy Wheakes clapped his hands and shouted, "Come on, girls! We don't have all day. We've got new guests arriving." 

The two housemaids threw back the rest of their tea and dragged themselves to their feet. He returned to the front desk.

"Rosemont Cottage Hotel", Mr. Wheakes answered the telephone in his most salubrious tone, "How may I be of assistance?"

While he took down information from the caller, he kept an eye on the front door. A car had stopped outside. Must be the Treadwells, he thought. The Treadwells were the only guests expected that day. Cradling the receiver on his shoulder, he flipped through the registry cards until he found the correct one: Double room, private bath, with a cot for child.

He covered the phone's speaker with his hand and nodded at them as they entered, "I'll be with you in just a moment".

An hour later, Mr. Wheakes picked up the house phone, "Front desk". He listened for a moment and groaned inwardly. "Well, of course we'll be happy to accommodate, Mrs. Treadwell. I don't think above half-an-hour…"

He put down the telephone and stomped down to the kitchen. "It's the Treadwells." He announced as he pushed through the door. "They want a picnic done up. I told them we could have it ready in half-an-hour."

His wife, who doubled as housekeeper and cook, gave him a sour look. "Oh for Christ's sake! I'm trying to get luncheon ready here."

"Well, throw some sandwiches and fruit in a basket. Add some of that leftover cake. Whatever's lying around. Make it look pretty."

Mrs. Wheakes started to argue, but Toddy held up his hand. "We don't get many overnights this time of year. They're from London. I'll charge them double. They'll never know the difference."

In a room filled with lace curtains and porcelain figurines, Susan Treadwell unpacked their cases. She opened all the dresser drawers and laid everything in carefully. Coats, shirts, and dresses were hanging in the wardrobe.

"Karen, come and see how nicely mummy arranges things", she called to her daughter.

At the bureau in front of the window Colin Treadwell was poking his laptop and looking askance at a set of instructions:

_Log on to the device as an administrator. Select the Wireless button from the left toolbar. __Click the Wireless Wizard button that appears at the top right of the Wireless Status menu. The Wireless Configuration Wizard will appear. __The WLAN Network Settings configuration screen displays. Ensure the Enable WLAN box is checked to enable the wireless LAN. __Enter the IP address you wish to use for the WLAN interface and supply the corresponding subnet mask. The default WLAN IP is..._

"I don't think I'll ever understand these things", Colin muttered in despair.

Susan looked at him impatiently. "Did you have to bring that thing? This is supposed to be a _family_ weekend. I hope you're not going to spend the entire weekend fussing with that?"

There was a knock at the door. Susan crossed the room and jerked it open. "What is it?"

"Your picnic, ma'am."

"Oh, yes. Thank you. Just put it there." She waved.

The housemaid dropped the basket on a sideboard. It was a rather sad imitation of a much better thing. Someone had attempted to spruce it up with napkins and bits tied with ribbons. Cellophane wrapped everything. At least it all looked clean.

"Colin."

"Hmmm."

"Colin, picnic's here; please get ready." She turned to her daughter, "Are you ready, dear? Let mummy get your hat." She took out a cloth sunhat and arranged it to shield the child's face. "We don't want to risk a burn." She slapped a broad-brimmed straw hat on her own head. "Colin?"

"What is it?"

"Are you ready?"

"Ready?"

"Ready to go. Are you ready to go?"

"Just a tick…dear."

Susan pursed her lips and slumped down on the edge of the bed. She tapped her foot lightly on the carpet. Karen held wordless colloquies with her stuffed toys as she arranged them on her cot. After what seemed to Susan an interminable amount of time, the strained silence began to seep into Colin's consciousness.

He looked up, "Is something wrong, dear?"

"Picnic. Are you ready?" Susan repeated flatly.

"Yes. Yes. Of course I am. Why didn't you say something?"

They drove out towards the cliffs. It was an early spring day, unusually warm, almost summery. Flowers had begun to bloom in the hedges and ditches. Susan closed her eyes against the brilliance of the light. It was such a beautiful day she did not mind the edge of chill in the air. In the back Karen held her hand out the window, feeling the hard push of the wind against her hand when she held her fingers up and the collapse of pressure when she turned them down.

"There's the spot." Colin slowed the car and stopped on the edge of the road. A green meadow spread out on all sides. At the edge of the cliffs the green ended abruptly. Beyond there was a deep blue haze. "I think we've got most of the coast to ourselves."

Susan spread out blankets and a tablecloth. She unpacked the hamper, sorting everything into its own tidy category. Colin sat down on the edge of a blanket and began fussing with his laptop again.

"Oh Colin, why couldn't you leave that thing behind?"

"I'm supposed to be able to get service here."

Karen picked up one of the sandwiches and wandered off to explore.

"Don't go too far, darling", Susan called after her. She ate absentmindedly while she stared out across the water. All was quiet except the muted clatter from Colin and the breeze rustling through the grasses. A few early insects buzzed nearby. After a while she began to feel drowsy. She curled up on the blanket and arranged the hat over her face and drifted off to sleep.

"Mummy?" Karen's voice drifted into Susan's dreams.

"Hmmm?"

"Mummy! We've made friends."

"What?" Susan lifted off the straw hat and squinted in the direction of Karen's voice. There was a large shadow there. God! It wasn't going to rain was it?

"Mummy, meet my new friend." Karen's voice was insistent.

"All right, mummy's coming." Susan sat up and shaded her eyes with one hand while adjusting her hat with the other. She looked up towards Karen. "I think we'll have to leave, darling. It looks like a storm's coming up."

"No, mummy, I have a new friend."

"Of course you do dear. Where is he?"

Susan's eyes adjusted to the clear, blazing sunlight. She could at last see that it was not a storm head rising behind where Karen was standing. It was a large, black…her brain rejected the concept even as it offered it up to her consciousness…_dragon_.

She shrieked.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Karen! KAREN, come to mummy!" She held out her arms and tried to stand. Something like to the rumbling rush of a train filled her head – not really a sound, more of a pressure.

"Karen, _please_ come to mummy!" She whispered desperately.

Karen stood smiling and flapping her arms, and looking just like the kind of tasty blonde morsel a monster would want to eat.

"_Oh my God, Karen, please!_" Susan pleaded.

The creature tilted its head and craned forward to peer at her.

As if by instinct Susan crumpled to the ground and wrapped her arms around her head. _Duck and cover._ Wasn't that the drill? Or was it _put your arms in front of your face if a dog tries to bite you_?

"Concentrate on bladder control", her reptile brain offered.

Some higher region of impulse began signalling with news headlines: _Yesterday, in east Kent, Mrs. Susan Treadwell soiled herself, just before a rather large dragon ate her. Now the weather…_

She could hear her mother's acid voice: _I just don't know what I did wrong. I always brought her up proper, like a lady. That's all I ever wanted, for her to go out into society and do me proud. All the sacrifices I made, all the lessons, piano and dancing. The amateur theatricals run by that dreadful man with the crooked teeth, and I had to make all her costumes._

"Mummy, mummy", Karen was tugging her sleeve, "He's really nice".

Susan glanced up. The beast inched forward and gazed down at her. Gently it licked her face. She whimpered.

In an instance she understood. It was those _Potter_ books! And that film…the one with the elves and the dwarves and the elephants. _This would never be happening if they'd stuck to Jane Austen_!

Of course, _Colin_ insisted on keeping up with all the trends, like his gadgets.

"You worry too much. All the kids are reading them." He'd said when she tried to suggest that Karen might be too impressionable.

Susan chanced a look to either side. "Colin?" She called out tentatively.

Against the straining of every nerve in her body she turned around. Her back was to the beast. She could hear it breathing. _Like a great bellows blowing_ – the phrase bubbled up from the murk of her memory.

"Colin!"

Colin was running away from them, towards the road and their car, in his loafers, his stupid moccasin loafers.

"COLIN, YOU BASTARD!" She screamed so hard her throat hurt.

Susan cast about for a weapon – a stick, a rock, anything. There was nothing but turf. She picked up a clod of earth and pitched it at the dragon. It struck against its snout, leaving a brown smudge on the shiny black scales.

The dragon shook its head, then heaved in a great breath and sneezed. The moist blast of air knocked Susan to the ground.

Then Colin was there, bent over, clutching his knees, and panting. "Here…here…use…this." He thrust a tennis racket at her.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" She scrambled to her feet and thought she must be seeing her husband for the first time.

"What kind of a man are you? Aren't you a man! You're supposed to deal with these things."

"Me? I'm a chartered accountant. What about you? You're a mother. Aren't you supposed to be a she-bear protecting her cub?"

Throughout this exchange Karen had been pulling Susan's shirt, "Mummy…mummy…"

They rounded on her as one, "WHAT IS IT?"

Karen looked up at her parents with round blue eyes and cherubic cheeks and said, "His name is Sydney."

There was a long, deafening pause.


End file.
